We get asked many questions. Like what have you got against furry animals? What’s the fastest land animal in the world? Who was the best James Bond? Maybe you’ve got some questions that need answering. Well, in the section below we’ll do our best to answer as many questions as we can.

Grease our palms! We accept all forms of payment: credit cards, debit cards, eCheck, Paypal funds. We even accept peanuts, if you’re a squirrel. To find out more, do please read on.

Our Squash-plush range looks like roadkill. Feels like roadkill. And tastes like roadkill. But they’re not. They’re plush toys. It’s the way we make them that makes them seem so real. If you have any questions about our teddies or are just plain nosey, then you might find what you’re looking for below.

We know. We know. You can’t wait to get your hands on your own Squash-plush teddy, and that any wait is way too long. Well, we’ll do our utmost to get it to you as quickly as is humanly possible. Generally speaking you should receive your Squash-plush teddy within one to two days of placing your order. If you have any other questions then read on.

Unless there’s an obvious defect with your teddy, unless it’s head is where it’s paw should have been, or unless it’s tongue is coming out of its fundament, our policy is that we don’t do refunds. Being a small company, it’d be too much cope with. We hope you understand.

Maybe you didn’t find the answers you were looking for in the shop. Maybe you’re Ebenezer Scrooge and would like to haggle over coppers and dimes. Maybe you’re a Billionaire Philanthropist and would like to enquire the price of 30,000 for the poor and needy of Nicaragua. Well, maybe you’ll find the answers you’re looking for here.

For more information on security issues please refer to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Service notices. If however you’re the paranoid type, the type that thinks there are 7 foot reptile Illuminati observing your every transaction, or the type that thinks there’s an omniscient sinister organisation called Echelon watching your every move, then you might be soothed by reading the answers to some of your security questions below. Then again you might not.

We take your safety very seriously. This is why we carry out loads of tests on our toys. We burn them, tear them, pluck them, behead them, gut them, shred them, tickle them, and stamp on them. This is called the BS EN 71 test. And it’s one of the many tests we do to ensure our stuff is safe. After all we don’t want you ending up looking like one of our products. If you have any other niggling questions about the safety of our products, then read on. You might find them answered below.