Are Roadkill products safe for kids or babies?

Roadkill products aren’t designed for kids under the age of 14. They aren’t toys. They are designed for big kids. The type of kids that have beer bellies and hairy shoulders. Having said that, Roadkill products are very cute, and we realise it might be quite hard to stop your kids hugging and playing with them. But if you’re worried about safety issues, check out our Safety Standards section.

Should I buy a Roadkill Teddy for my kid?

We don’t advise you buying our products for young children. They aren’t designed for toddlers, tykes, bambinos, or kiddywinkles. If they’re over 14 that’s OK. And the more over 14 they are the better. In fact if by ‘kid’ you mean a 40 year old, hairy, balding kid then that’s perfectly acceptable.

Where were the safety tests carried out?

Our safety tests are carried out by an established firm in China. It’s the standard test required by British law, the BS EN 71 test, without which no product can get the CE mark. Wherever this test is carried out it has to conform to certain standards.

What are the potential hazards to your Squash-plush products?

Well, apart from making you feel queasy or slightly morally unclean, our products are very safe. They have been tested to the highest standards. All products of this kind have to pass the BS EN 71 test, and Twitch passed this with flying colours. That said, we recommend that you keep the PVC body bag out of reach of toddlers and babies. It’s a bag, and as such there is always a risk of suffocation.

Were any animals harmed in the making of the Squash-plush range?

We’re as conscientious about animal welfare as the next person. So, no, not many animals were harmed. Probably only about 26. We had to do a few tests on some badgers, and squirrels. And the odd cat here and there. But it was all necessary collateral damage.

Are there any toxic or dangerous components to your products?

Our roadkill teddies might be subversive, they may be the product of a diseased mind, but they are not toxic or dangerous. We use safety noses and safety eyes. The materials for the Squash-plush are 100% polyester, and the body bag is PVC.