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We realise that and our grown-up toy range might not be to everyone’s tastes, so in the spirit of openness and freedom of speech we are setting aside this little corner of our website for little people to share their worries and concerns.

“I can’t believe that a company can be so callous, and so unrespecting of people’s sensibilities. There might be one or two people who find this kind of rubbish funny, but the vast majority of decent folk find it abhorrent.”
Norman Schwartzcopf, Maine

“To see an animal obviously in distress sold commercially in toy form, is repugnant, and contravenes the mores of any civilised society. Especially if that animal is a vole.”
The Society for the Protection of Derbyshire’s Vole Population

“I came across these so-called teddy bears on the world wide web. Has humankind really stooped so low? They are a blight on the human soul. They are abominations and without putting too fine a point on it, are the work of Beelzebub himself. I call upon the decent mob of America to rise up and throw these abominations into the bottomless pit from whence they issued.”
Brad Cringlehauer, The Church of Pentecost, Houston

“You mock creation at your own risk, you Satan worshipping scum… Please die and go to hell. I hope you get a painful disease like rectal cancer and die a slow painful death, so you can meet your God, SATAN. PS F**k you, you communist whore, and leave God’s creations alone. If you persist, just remember you brought it on. My rifle is loaded you Taliban f**k.”
Susanne McCwirrick, Co Sligo

Please note: The complaints quoted here are entirely fictitious, but as responsible people we will address any 'real' grievances in a serious and sober manner - possibly.